Her years of monetizing the troubles within her marriage are over.
Now, Jana Kramer is embarking upon a brand new journey: monetizing her divorce from Mike Caussin.
She is doing that in a brand new interview, expressing her heartbreak.
That’s obvious, as she breaks down into tears whereas describing the state of issues.
As a substitute of being joined by her dishonest ex, Jana spoke on her podcast with buddy Sara Gretzky and life coach Gabby Bernstein.
“My coronary heart’s like pounding,” Jana confessed to her buddy.
“That is … so sorry for everybody listening proper now — this isn’t simple,” she stated whereas tearful.
“For these of you that have not seen the information,” Jana stated.
“I filed for divorce just a few weeks in the past,” she introduced.
“And it has not been simple,” Jana affirmed, “I am going to say that.”
“And truthfully, I do not even know if I wish to do the present anymore,” Jana admitted.
“I am being utterly sincere,” she added.
She recalled how she had began the podcast alone, however with Mike becoming a member of her, the podcast had felt “like ours.”
Jana then defined: “So now it feels bizarre not having him on right here.”
“And, I do not know, it is simply feels bizarre,” she expressed.
Jana additionally famous that she is presently in “the center of grieving.”
Jana went on to element that issues are probably the most painful within the morning and at evening.
Throughout the day, when she’s caring for her youngsters, she feels that sulking could be a luxurious.
However when the kids take their each day naps, Jana says, she goes to her room and cries.
Jana stated that at time she felt “so depressed” that she could not load the dishwasher.
“I used to be a zombie, that was for 2 weeks,” she described.
“Now I am going out and in of crying,” Jana characterised.
“I did not need this,” Jana affirmed.
“On the finish of the day,” she stated, “I believe the place I am at is, I am embarrassed.”
“I am embarrassed that that is the way it ended,” Jana defined.
“After which,” Jana confessed, “I additionally really feel like I let individuals down.”
“We have come on right here, and we have fought, and we fought for it,” she emphasised.
“However, actually, the phrases that had been spoken,” Jana went on, “they had been sincere from me, is what I am going to say.”
Right here buddy Sara admitted that she had felt surprised by Jana’s divorce from her notorious dishonest husband.
In accordance with Sara, all the things had appeared nice.
And Jana admitted that she had felt the very same manner in regards to the state of her marriage.
“Even just a few days earlier than issues got here to mild we had been like, ‘Wow, we’re actually good proper now,'” Jana admitted.
She did thank followers who’ve showered her with help.
She additionally famous that spouses in related conditions had requested how she discovered the “braveness” to depart Mike.
“I nonetheless do not have the power,” Jana confessed.
“it is simply someplace the place it is like, I’ve no selection,'” she admitted.
Jana characterised her emotional state: “I am the weakest I’ve ever been.”
“Perhaps sooner or later, I am going to really feel that power,” Jana recommended optimistically.
“However,” she revealed, “I went to my therapist just a few weeks in the past.”
Jana went to her therapist with an perspective “like, ‘High-quality I am going to reside this life. I do not wish to break up my household.'”
“My complete factor is like, I did not need this for the youngsters,'” Jana said.
“I’ve stayed for my youngsters,” she famous, “even when different issues occurred.”
Jana continued: “My therapist was like, ‘You do not wish to reside that life … it is taking your life away.'”
Jana defined her reasoning: “I am like, ‘Yeah, however my youngsters. We’ll be collectively.'”
She as soon as once more started to get choked up, imagining what it is going to be like when she drops off her youngsters for an in a single day go to with their dad.
“I will be destroyed,” Jana predicted.
“It is not what I wished, it is not what I labored for, and it is not f–king honest,” Jana famous.
She expressed: “That makes me so offended.”
“I labored too rattling exhausting for it to finish this fashion,” Jana lamented.
Jana beforehand believed that she was being “robust” for staying with Mike regardless of all the things.
“Every little thing” on this case involving a dishonest scandal, a “intercourse dependancy relapse,” a sexting scandal.
Alsoa imprecise incident the place a “boundary” was “damaged,” and extra accusations simply six months in the past that he was dishonest once more.
Proper now, although, Jana shared that she has begun to really feel “weak” for having stayed.
She reasoned: “as a result of I am staying as a result of I do not wish to be alone.”
“I am staying as a result of I wish to hold my household collectively,” Jana defined, “and I do not know I imagine a change anymore.”
Jana shared that she had “buddies mainly inform me they’d lose respect for me” if she did not depart Mike.
“And,” she added, “these had been the chums that had been like, ‘We love you and help you it doesn’t matter what.'”
Whereas Mike claimed to have “intercourse dependancy,” Jana expressed that their cycle of transgression and forgiveness made her really feel just like the “addict.”
“I really feel like I am coming off of heroin,” Jana characterised.
“I am like, I would like it,” she defined. “What do I would like? It is not wholesome.”
“I do not know what a wholesome model appears like anymore,” Jana admitted.
“There may be positively moments the place it is like, it is good to not should marvel,” Jana shared of her present reduction.
“Fear, look. I used to be at all times so afraid of that second,” she added.
Jana stated that she and Mike had tried a brutally sincere dialog “just a few weeks at first got here to mild.”
Jana on the time hadn’t wished to “discover it” on her personal, so she had requested him if something was up.
“It was such a related second and he swore on his sobriety there was nothing,” she added.
“Realizing now what I do know … not having to have a look at issues and query and marvel and fear, there’s some reduction in that,” Jana expressed.
Jana acknowledged that there’s “a lot unhappiness” in terms of their youngsters.
She defined “as a result of they did not deserve this, they did not ask for this.”
Jana stated that she feels unhappy when she thinks of “dream of what I assumed it was gonna be” of their marriage’s future.
However Mike was not “who I assumed I used to be working with and who he stated to all of us who he was.”
Jana admitted that “not having that actually be a actuality is type of a slap within the face.”
It is a betrayal, via and thru.
Jana stated that she hopes that the podcast won’t morph into “the divorce information of single mamas.”
She additionally vowed that “each will won’t be a sob present.”
Solely time will inform if she’s higher at protecting her guarantees than Mike is.